I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
