He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think your dad took our porno
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize