Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
