end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize