Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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