Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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