you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The adults are the big ones right?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
