Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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