There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you will always have a special place in my vag
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
