you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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