You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
