matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Your tits are I can't wait for
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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