I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Two words: nipple clamps
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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