Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just sent this text using only my big toe
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
