Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
