Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
