ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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