Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
