Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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