part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
