Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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