My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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