i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
