she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize