why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize