Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
