Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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