end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
