super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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