Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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