If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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