Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize