my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
