she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
