she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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