i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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