you guys were way drunker than both of me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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