His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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