it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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