you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I looked at my own cervix.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
