I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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