so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Alive.
So much puke
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize