Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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