i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
