Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
