the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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