You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sober January is a disaster.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
