I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
