shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
