I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
