I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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