I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
