Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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