I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
