How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
