you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
