just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
