i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
