needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
