It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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