They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
