i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
its liver damage thursday
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize