Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
