I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
