Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize