i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
