he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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