some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
