K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize