its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
