I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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