dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
