i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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