i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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