My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
