You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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