Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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